Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This is the high leading the old right now
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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