You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
