How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
