About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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