Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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