Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
