I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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