mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
