he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
