Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
