A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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