If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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