Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I looked at my own cervix.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
