if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
