If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
