Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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