Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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