my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize