This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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