Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
