I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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