remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
