I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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