Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
someone owes me an orgasm
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
