But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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