She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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