First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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