I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
