We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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