he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
