Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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