Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
