so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
