Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
