your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
