how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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