I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
