Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
