im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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