You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
