wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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