thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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