you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's never too late to be topless.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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