Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
