He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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