Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
