I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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