I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
