so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
