my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
