He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
