Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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