ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

  (1-310): View more from California

  damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

  Fav 65 2999 3947

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...

  Fav 11 4455 948

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.

  Fav 12 1847 3996

  share tweet
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  Even my vagina gasped.

  Fav 15 5537 1380

  share tweet
  
• 

  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.

  Fav 4 2046 1257

  share tweet
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.

  Fav 5 3653 1070

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.

  Fav 18 1561 2849

  share tweet
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears

  Fav 12 908 1110

  share tweet
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.

  Fav 6 646 1102

  share tweet
  
• 

  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.

  Fav 3 502 679

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat

  Fav 1 809 628

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (478): View more from Georgia

  But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.

  Fav 2 878 476

  share tweet
  

• (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood

  Fav 1 717 356

  share tweet
  

• (209): View more from California

  So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...

  Fav 0 38 19

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?

  Fav 0 31 30

  share tweet
  

Randomize