Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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