I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
