The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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