I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
