and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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