:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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