The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize