Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
These tits shall not be calmed
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