we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize