They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
